Has anyone noticed, I’m not a single project type of woman yet? This one is a bit of a beast, consisting of 20 different cabled squares, and it will take a while to complete. It’s not on a list to rush and finish, because it holds a special place in time.
My younger brother passed in November of 2014 not long before his 30th birthday. It was sudden, and traumatic for the family. After receiving the worst phone call in my life at 5:15 am the morning he died, I packed up and drove the six hours home to be with my family. The bulk of the funeral arrangements fell into my lap with the assistance of a good friend that worked in the funeral industry, we managed to get everything put together, hitting several road blocks from the funeral director in my hometown. To put it bluntly this funeral director took the hit to his pocket book personally, since I was advised by my friend in the industry on how to make the funeral affordable for the family, and decided to take his frustrations out first on my mother, and then on me after he was told to never speak to my mother again. I wasn’t allowed to grieve with my family that week at home, I felt the need to be the strong one, the protector, and if need be the warrior to keep as much off my parents as I could. There was no restful sleep, little food, and a great deal of coffee keeping me going.
After a week, I told my family it was time to go back home, so I could have my own space to grieve. Not only was I mourning the death of a brother, I was also remembering my grandmother’s struggling last breaths just two months before.
After making it home, I left the house to pick up a few items to get through the week, and in the hour I was gone, my neighbor put a bag full of yarn, on my door with a note saying, “you’ll know what to do with this.” I broke down when I walked into the door, the exhaustion, the trauma, the grief, hit like a tidal wave. My neighbor was right, she knew I needed to make something.
I tried a few different patterns, tried to create a few of my own, nothing seemed right. I put the yarn aside, and would look at it now and then. I wasn’t really dealing with loosing my brother, it was easier to pick back into day-to-day life and not process it.
Late this past summer, the kind neighbor passed due to several complications associated with lupus. Another death, not as painful as loosing a brother and grandmother, bit painful none the less. She was an amazing woman. This fall the bag of yarn came out of the stash box again, and a new pattern hunt began, and then I saw Norah’s Vintage Afghan, and it seemed to fit. The pattern sat on my desk for a full two weeks before I knitted the first square. Thoughts of the people I’ve lost in my life kept coming to mind. I began to start dealing with the losses while working those needles.
The second square has been started, but this project can only be worked on a bit of a time. Once again, memories came to mind, and there are times it hurts, and times it makes me smile. So a bit at a time, a bit at a time, a bit at a time, and one day it’ll be finished.
Norah’s Vintage Afghan by Berroco.
Lion Brand Heartland
Since acrylics don’t block well I found gauge and then went up two needle sizes. There is more than enough of this yarn to accommodate the increase in size, and the knit piece that’s completed is laying fairly flat. There will be a little hot steam blocking at the end to flatten out any rolled spots but there is little anticipation of a problem.
Cast on Date:
Projected Completion Date:
A honest, who knows?